Remember that story in the news from the other day?   You know, the story about that guy who wrote a book about that era from another century, in which the author explored concepts relating to pre-historic development? 

The same concepts that (as it turns out) are still the focus of headlines plastered across your monitor every twenty-four hours and updated at anywhere between a 45-minute to 6 hour interval? 

That story was amazing; it delved into questions regarding mans unceasing territorialism, the obsession with interpretive beauty, the purpose, usage, and calculation behind myths; the evolution of entertainment; and it searched for some more-than-speculative grasp on the answer to our current numero uno question:  What does the future hold?

Good question.  What DOES the future hold?  Would we even be able to understand what the future holds if we ever get it together enough to agree on what the past was?  I ask because what the past has taught us is that the past IS the future, that the unknowns

hold only the key to understanding what is now unknown. 

Welcome to psycho-ville, comrades.  This is modern life; the digital guide to your weekly entertainment [or what has been referred to as news], the marquee at your local cinema, and the menu at your favorite soy/preservative/gmo corn/anything ending in –ose or

–dextrin restaurant nearest you. 

If you can’t stand that; if the thought of normalcy and a comfortable mediocrity makes you nauseous; you can always throw yourself off a cliff and post it online…you can

opt for the traditional route of sending a note to your sweetheart on perfumed papyrus milled out of near-extinct trees decorated with the newest and most expensive dyes; you can turn the death of your dearest relative into a film that

will air at 3AM on a channel that no one watches, all with the intent of influencing legislation that will never be written. 

It’s all up to you.  All options are on the table.  Just pick one; but please make

sure you do it quickly; make sure you don’t weigh the consequences. 

Make sure your choice is equally legal and rebellious; full of popular vim and an adroitly calculated amount of vigor. 

No matter your choice, no matter the lever you pull on any variety of rigged devices, be it a poll, a sneaker brand, a bank account, a lip gloss preference, or a dietary credo…just don’t slow down.

Don’t breathe too evenly; don’t stop to listen for a natural sound, don’t think about walking, don’t try to get a good night’s sleep, don’t ignore your junk mail.  Don’t forget to turn on the T.V, don’t forget to keep yourself plugged in at all times; don’t forget to suppress your laughter and your tears.  Don’t forget to forget that no matter what anyone says…we ALL are just animals. 

Hello kids.  I wanted to give you a not so brief April update.  Overall, things are going very well.  A merry band of reprobates and I have a small film to sell; I’m writing constantly and maintaining a sense of domesticity like you can’t believe.  My hygiene is off the hook, too.  I am my smile.  Guess you can’t accuse me of a lack of transparency…

So, you see that I am so busy, it doesn’t even make sense that I’m writing a blog right now.  But, I am.  Why?  Because I got sidetracked, distracted, caught off guard, freaked out and terrified.  And it’s all One Goh’s fault.  Look him up.  He’s the self-assigned asshole of the year and I’m not kidding.  Terry Collins from the Associated Press is a way better writer than me.  I don’t know how Collins typed out this article without interjecting SOME personal opinion:

http://www.thereporter.com/rss/ci_20322763?source=rss

May I mention that this article gives ME some anger management issues?  First of all, I’m really tired of Oakland getting a bad rap.  As a Californian, this is very depressing, especially considering that this sociopathic ticking explosive device (and in no way a representative of the human species that I recognize) spent many years in Virginia (no offense to Virginians). 

My official reaction is that I am enraged to the point of being BLUE in the face…if I keep thinking about it I might be purple by the time I’m done typing. 

I’m so upset, so diabolically emotionally deranged right now that I am NOT buying a gun and plotting to randomly take out a whole bunch of people.  I’m NOT walking into a classroom and providing an open-ended example of a real life game change.  I’m not fulfilling my fantasy of being Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Terminator and showing up at the facility the authorities are keeping Mr. Goh in and blowing the whole place up just to get to him.  Shit, I’m not even investigating pepper spray. 

I’m a firm believer in the power of education and Oakland is the kind of town that agrees with me on this, obviously.  Unfortunately, studies have been done, and it seems that you can’t educate everyone.  It brings a tear to my eye to realize it, but the truth is the truth, and that’s that.  One Goh is the perfect example of someone who needs to be placed on a highly regimented ‘learning curve’.  Welcome to the California prison system, Goh.  Goh on and rot.  I so hope someone forces him to read this blog. 

Ok, now that we got all that out of the way, let’s bring it back to sparklers and fairy dust.  I’m hearing that Jack White is back, and Fiona Apple, too.  Good news still exists!  

I would like to write about basketball, because this month it seems to be everyone’s agreed-upon safe topic.  But, I don’t know anything about basketball, so…I really can’t.  What I can say; no.  Strike that.  What I can ask is:  What is ‘insane’ about Jeremy Lin?  It doesn’t seem like there is anything particularly crazy about him, so why is the term Linsanity up for consideration to be a new ‘American term’ worthy of being included in a dictionary? 

If Linsanity winds up in a dictionary, any kind of dictionary, does that mean that we can finally stop trying to figure out who he is or where he believes he is from and just make jokes about him?

I’ve been secretly trying to figure some things out for the last couple of… you know…media eras. 

One is:  How many times does something have to be repeated to the general public before the message sinks in amongst it?  I cannot remember the time when it took hundreds of years to convince the general population that the Earth was actually round; but I’m familiar with the tale.  I can remember when a whole bunch of people from every reachable coordinate of the Earth were advising Americans that maybe war with Iraq was not a good idea; and we didn’t listen.  These are painful memories, least of all for me, but painful nonetheless. 

Maybe I brought too many animals into this month’s zoo, but at the end of the afternoon one and all have to wonder:  Why is it seemingly easy to make a really fucking bad idea dress like a good one? 

The Second was:  What would our emerging global culture look and feel like if the concepts ‘Comedy’ or the presence of ‘Comedians’ were simultaneously, interchangeably, and forcibly removed from the collective consciousness of the culture?  Let me pose the question in more concrete and discernable language…  What would happen in today’s world if suddenly, nothing was funny?  Not only is nothing funny but nothing is allowed to be funny…the new rule would be that no one could even understand what funny is or used to be.  Does that sound workable? 

Maybe it just sounds orderly…like a walk through a blind epistemologists’ park. 

To me; the idea that no one can make a joke because one persons source of laughter is the result of another’s pain is like saying that no one should really celebrate the morning sun because it just means that somewhere else…the sun is setting. 

I say let’s celebrate all of it.  The setting sun, the rising sun, the lack of sun, the wind, and the solar storm that derailed everything before everything could even come about.  If there is a certain time for everything (and that particular idea is proving to be irrefutable), then let us say that when we laugh and for whatever reason we laugh, it’s not because we delight in the misfortune of others… it is simply because we delight in our own temporal ability to laugh.

**The webmaster would like to remind visitors that Thora.org still has a Facebook page:  http://www.facebook.com/thora.org**

Welcome cinematic aficionados.  Apparently, 2011 was the year of George Clooney. 

Or, if you prefer light eyebrows, you can always sit back with some water and gaze at

Ryan Gosling and his twig…I’m sorry, I mean his pet toothpick.  Big difference.

While this author is a firm believer in dental hygiene, there are some other considerations

I’d like to broach now that February is here.

What happens if a nature loving talent is trumped by some activity as crass as a

high-speed chase occurring in real time?  The kind of real time that costs locals

money when they expect any given police department to hunt down gaseous

menaces who find their way onto the streets by hook and crook.

Full disclosure:  I’m watching a high-speed surface street chase as this is being written; call it a

benefit of So. Cal. Living.  Now, THIS guy or gal can drive.  Oh Beauty!  It turns out there are two

suspected car thieves that have now decided their brush with death and the deaths of others is

getting boring enough for them to stop the car and go on foot, AND I think the driver was female! 

Yes!  Sports fans everywhere are hollering in caves! 

Wait a moment.  My enthusiasm is dampened by the sudden thought of how terrified I would be if I

were living in one of the residences these people have illuminated with helicopter lights in order to

pursue whatever it is in life that gives them a rush.

Now I’m upset.  Haul them both off to jail.  The show was good and good fun, but the ending really blows. 

A friend of mine completely outside the entertainment industry kind of threw out one of those

rhetorical questions meant to illicit a chuckle the other day.  Real doosie: 

“You still watch movies?”  I cracked up; on the floor time. 

Two days later a popularity contest guest list for a reality show was released and the humor of the joke was

instantly eviscerated.  I had to call up the ‘lil smart aleck and say, “Hey man, Hanks a lot.  I won’t be able to

enjoy watching a film for another month.  You put me back in the dissection row with the other critics; the next

round of tickets are on you.”  Thankfully, I received no argument from the other side…you see, they were still

pretty traumatized over the 49ers not getting into the Super Bowl.  We consoled each other for hours, which

was hard to do, with the both of us being pissed about the same things.  Sometimes a bad day for you is just

a bad day period. 

Oops, hold on.  I just realized the juvenile quality of the last paragraph.  And yes, I did take that class in

high school that teaches you that all of that goes away as you accumulate life experience.  What? 

What did I hear?  Did someone say the education system in this country isn’t working too well?  Hmm. 

Sounds like the facts aren’t all in.  Hold on, self-deport?  Is that what you said?   Uh-oh, I’m getting confused.  Somebody must be right about something.  I’m going to have to try to get someone from Romney’s or Rick Perry’s office on the line…maybe they’ve got some advice, or at least some ideas. I know they obsess about this stuff day and night.   

I enjoyed some of your responses on the previous post, I spotted some questions peppered throughout as well.

One question pertained to vegetables.  I enjoy all the leafy varieties, and broccoli, which should be enjoyed

only when it still has at least some crunch.  I think that says a lot.  

Another asked which character I've played is truest to my personality.  Tsk tsk.  Such an intrusive question, my friend.

They were generally amalgamtions of threads of my personality at that time.  Others were not.

*Disclaimer*  The contents of this blog might be of the braggart's variety, and therefore highly offensive.  Reader discretion advised.  

So, before I go into a whole diatribe about how awesome I am, I'll start off slow by saying that the editing process on "Petunia" is going well (if not a bit slow).  We still have a few tweaks here and there to go, but overall, it has a sort of odd humor that I think audiences who haven't spent 15 hours in line for Rise of the Planet of the Apes

will appreciate.

If you think me talking about a film I'm in is not self serving enough, than you've come to the right blog.  For the past three years, I was attending Kaplan University (which, by the way, if you haven't checked you're Yahoo news scroll recently, online colleges are just as happening as the ones where you pay tons of money to not show up when you should).  I finally graduated summa cume laude last week in Chicago, and I must say, the whole affair was a lot of fun. People kept saying, "You look like....."  Then, after I walked, I suppose some folks put it all together.  No one could understand why I would be interested in a BS Legal Studies.  I was surprised by that, my reaction was, "Well, hello; we all know that ignorance is no excuse for breaking the law, but how many of us really know what the laws are?  I mean, if I'm going to just exist, I think I should be aware of the legal ramifications of that, you know, in case I have some toxic waste to dispose of, or if I'm accused of raping someone.   

I'm not sure if you guys heard this story, but remember the pilot who was riffing over the loudspeaker on his plane and complaining about Chicago.... I think he said there were only "Grandma's, Grande's, and Gays" there.  What a poor dolt. He clearly didn't go to the Chicago I spent last weekend in; it's still a fun town, period.  

Ok, well enough of all that.  Thank you all for the book recommendations!  Whoever said to check out C.S. Lewis' "The Screwtape Letters" deserves a round of applause.  That was one mindf**k of a book.  I'm still exhausting the list, but since we're on the subject....I think it's only fair that I in turn recommend a book:  Incognito, by David Eagleman.  All I can say is that individual experiences are only around 40% of what accounts for mankind's general insanity and inability to communicate truly effectively.  

Now I'm trying to think of some random, controversial statement to make, but.....maybe it's best if I leave that 'til next time.  I'm sure we'll have lots of fun things to go over regarding the continually repugnant rigamarole of the developmentally disabled in Congress.  

So, even though I can't seem to get these Adele songs out of  my head (which is kind of worse than waiting for the apocalypse)  I was in such a good mood today for no reason whatsoever, I decided to share my pointless giddiness with you all.  Tons of fun things have happened since I last wrote.  Carnival barkers, illegitimate children, the arab spring (which, ironically sounds a bit dry) and another poor misuse and misrepresentation of a Native American ("Geronimo", really?Although, I now would completely appreciate being hooked up with a Navy Seal, btw.  Just had to throw that out there). Anyway, the good times....they just keep on a rollin'.   Hey, at least we are fully transparent about our lack of transparency, right?  It's not like we don't know we're being BSed most of the time.  That obviously makes us super cool and the rightful moral authority for the entire universe, in case there was any doubt about that.  lol

I'm sure I just offended someone.  I've noticed from the comments a lot of my visitors are from the far ends of the earth.  Like Australia, which according to Colin Quinn, isn't even on the planet.  I'm so blessed.  (I kid, Aussies).  

Let's see...... what kind of chaotic things can we discuss now?  I would talk about the South, but it's too depressing.  I wish there were an adopt-a-southern-family kind of program where the banks could use the empty foreclosed houses they're sitting on for something good, like HOUSING PEOPLE, because the resulting water damage pretty much means most of those folks will not be going home.  I wasn't really yelling, just emphasizing. I have to stop mentioning foreclosed homes, I think this is the third time they have popped up in my blog.  Note to self.   

Anyone have any good book suggestions?  I have some trips coming up, and I don't want to watch the inflight films because they are edited stupidly, as I'm sure many of you have noticed.  I recently re-read The Great Gatsby.  I can't believe it had been 11 years since I read it, and I wonder why I dated the last time I read it. What an odd young woman I was. It's good, but I'm not planning on reading it again in another 11 years.  It's kind of boring and a bit melodramatic actually, although I like the first person style, and there are some undoubtedly great sentences sprinkled throughout.  

See what happens when I try to only talk about things that won't get me in trouble later?  I become boring and melodramatic.  I apologize for trapping you into reading a common blog.  To make it up to you I will let loose with some mildly 'controversial' opinion:  I could tolerate Snooki a little more when I knew she was making like, zero money.  Now that they all are getting paid handsomely, I can't handle it anymore.  Why, America?  Why do you watch whatever show she is on?  I demand answers.  I would rather watch 20 consecutive hours of fake wrestling.  Maybe that's the point though, we all need something to be completely baffled by apart from all the other things we're baffled by; like the relationship between taxes and services, or the jimmyed up option of ending medicare now, or later, when people who are not quite old now become old, because they are apparently a special class of people that will be fine on their own. Actually, I'm starting to understand now.  It's all so clear.  The only way to get any attention in this life is to either make no sense at all or victimize yourself.  

I'm calling for another age of reason, right now.  Care to join?  Let me just finish watching my rental: The Green Hornet.   ;)

So, I am writing you during an extremely confusing, difficult, plaintive and desperate time. But, before I continue, I'd just like to tell you all how much I love you guys.  Your responses to my posts, and your generous support mean the world to me, and quite honestly it may be the only thing keeping me functioning in as balanced a manner as possible.  I'm bi-winning too, damnit.

On the education thing, it is a huge topic, way too complex to cover thoroughly in this format, plus, who knows what statistics you can really trust, so true analysis is compromised.  However, I asked in hopes that you would engage with me, with each other, your friends, family, etc. to get the discussion going.  Mission accomplished.  

Yet, in some way, look at Japan.  Talk about educated, yet they still only designed their nuclear power plants (ok, private company, what do we expect) to withstand a 6 or 7 point magnitude earthquake.  The explanation apparently, is that 'no one' believed an 8 or 9 could happen.  What a fucking joke.  I'm sorry, I don't want to be harsh, but I've lived my entire life expecting an 8 or 9.  I'm from Los Angeles, it sits on something called a FAULT LINE.  I'm not pointing fingers or trying to start an emotional viral riot, my point is is that all the education in the world could not stop us (humans) from making poor decisions.  Hmm, maybe the Republicans are on to something afterall...(just kidding).  Many of you have shared some very valuable points regarding the challenges we face to fix our educational system and for that I thank you.  Although that particular legislative battle will probably be halted dramatically as we focus on other things, like oh, I don't know, oxygen.

My heart goes out to the people of Japan, my prayers (yes, it's time to pray) go out to those struggling to gain some kind of control over the nuclear situation.  My heart is completely broken for those who have lost everything, although knowing how the Japanese are on honor, they probably won't like hearing that.  Everything is a simple word expressing a very vast concept, and I hope that the survivors are able to band together to comfort one another and pick up whatever pieces they can grab onto and forge ahead.  I hope the US offers as much support as we can and then some more. Honestly, in my fantasy land head, I'd invite the entire population to the US, we've certainly got the room... and we've got a lot of houses that aren't and won't be lived in,...and we could certainly use the cultural input....  told you I was crazy.  But, when we can't figure out what to do because all of our plants are dead, we're going to need their help to build controlled environment facilities.  Bust out the reserve of seeds, and let's grow some more corn! ('K, that was sick humor, Lenny Bruce would be proud).

All right.  On to topics relevant to why you're even here in the first place.  Bonnie and Clyde is an extremely difficult film to finance for a couple of strong reasons, and that has stalled the project somewhat.  #1.  It's depression era, not a good era right now for anything other than tv.  #2 It was done very well the first time, or at least, that is what is in the public's psyche on that issue.  Investors are not blind to any of that.  We'll see, it might come together, but if it doesn't by the beginning of spring, than it probably won't as no one wants to shoot in Alabama in the middle of August, not even Alabamans.  :)  

There are two other projects that I'm involved with that are closer to filming, and as soon as I know when and where I will be shooting them, I will definitely let you guys know.....I just can't explain the status of each one.  Not because I don't want to, just simply because I've been advised not to.  "Petunia" has wrapped, and we all had a great time because the cast and crew were wonderful.  To be frank, I really haven't had much fun working on a project in awhile, but the role, and my coworkers on "Petunia" made it a much more pleasant experience.  

There is also something else I'd like to say about photo requests.  I've been getting so many recently that I have decided to set up a P.O. Box specifically for these requests.  I'm on the waiting list right now with my local Post Office.  When I have that info, I will post it here.  Please note, however, that only those who include a SASE will receive a reply.  

The photo above is an upload from my iphone taken on the I-5 here in CA on March 10, 2011 for anyone who was curious.  I guess that's about it for now, so hug your friends, kiss you're loved ones, let's get a little more love into the atmosphere before this planet has a heart attack, or at least so it doesn't have another one this year.

Best,

Thora Birch

Well hello and Happy New Year (ok, so Jan. is almost over).

Anyway.  Like the Phoenix I'm apparently proving to be, rising out of the 10 second ashes of public... discomfort, the new year has already provided me with a fresh atmosphere within which my spreading wings can flutter.  

I'm currently typing from a plush spot on the 38th floor of some Midtown building in NYC.  It's about quarter past 9pm EST.  The first week of principal photography on "Petunia" is winding down.  "Petunia" has little to do with botany, or even a flower shop, FYI.  It is the title of a dark comedy shot and set in NYC centering around everyone's favorite topic: a slightly sarcastic, quirky modern dysfunctional family and their equally dysfunctional/comedically endearing spouses.  In the film (which my company is also Producing) I play Vivian, a won't-be-reformed city wild woman-child of her own variety who is slammed into her idea of adulthood when she becomes pregnant.  

I'm very pleased to be working with a great cast, a professionally creative crew, and a director I believe will be coming into his own with this piece, Ash Christian (and I'm not only saying that because he's a friend).  Working in the city is a great coo as well, though we certainly would welcome some warmer temperatures.

Perhaps all of the above will alleviate some of the concerns expressed by my more 'critical' fans who seem to believe I have not been given roles....uh....'suited' to me.  And for those of you who have followed me more closely towards the end of last year....your well wishes have proven to be fortuitous. 

http://www.screendaily.com/news/production/birch-on-to-star-in-produce-dark-comedy-petunia/5022736.article

Now, I have a question for all of you:  Do you think Barack Obama will be able to push his education agenda?  I mean, I thought he should have attacked that before health care, esp. if he really wants to 'win the future'.  But that's just me. What do you think?  Do you think the majority of people w/ power in this country want to actually educate children? Or, do you think that too many of us (or 'them') are actually thrilled that many U.S. high school graduates can calculate enough to merely tabulate tips?  

On NaNoWriMo: Not this year, but I would love to at some point, and might. 

…Well at least we got the Social Network frenzy out of our system…

So, what is it about Hitler?  Actually, don’t answer that.  But, he does make his way into every semi-lengthy conversation, disturbingly so.  But thank you for thoughts on my previous question. 

I wish I could say I only judged what projects to sign on for based on material or character alone.  It was once that way, but experience has taught me that there are regrettably numerous other considerations. Not only that, but what those considerations are vary with the times, so I couldn't possibly elaborate on what exactly they may be.  Hehe. 

Musing:

I keep thinking of things I should say or share since I had the audacity to actually start a blog.  I get ideas, toss various items of mention around in my mind.  Then I have this nausea inducing flashback of fourth grade, and hearing about the ‘permanent record.’  Oh no, Thora, don’t get too many demerit’s, or a notice will go on your PERMANENT RECORD.  MUUUAAAHAHAA!

Till the next time, let’s all “Smile” for Lily Allen, in the hopes that she will again soon.

.....well, not really, but that must be lovely.

Someone asked me if I'd like to be in a film that get's a theatrical release.  LOL  Been there, done that, and guess what, they all end up on the home viewing shelve anyway.....lol

In all seriousness, the answer would be sure, of course, who doesn't?  But, that's not going to change how I navigate my own life or career, which are two interconnected realms. 

See, the way the industry views it, as an actress, ideally I should be prepared to cut off my hands, feet, and tits in order to get a cameo in a Judd Apatow, or Scott Rudin film.  Call me a defiant rebel, I just can't bring myself to actually behave in a manner that would signify that that was my outlook on things.  I don't have time to be desperate.  Do things bother me?  Am I unsatisfied?  Of course.....but I'm in line on that one; my ticket number is 2,987,874,000 out of 6 bil.   

So, anyway, on another note, I have a question:  Who is the most self obsessed person you know (no names necessary) and what did they do to signify that they were such?  (research for a role.....)

Also, for your viewing pleasure, I strongly suggest "I'm Still Here,"  which was actually pretty brilliant if you 'get it.'  Where else are you going to see an actor ask, "How can I change the way I AM?"  But, you might have to wait for Netflix on that one. 

Ok, if anyone knows where the title of the blog is from, I will not send you a check for $100 in the mail. 

Oh, and FYI, I'm loving that you all are interacting here because if ANYTHING would flatter me, it would be that people get all existential on my website.

Hello all!

Welcome to the site!  We hope you enjoy it... technically, there are still a lot of organizational issues and we will be tweaking things frequently.

For this first blog, I'd just like to say thank you for stopping by and for all of your support over the years.....and there have been many of them at this point.  

When thora.org first came to my attention, I'm not sure I was completely clear on how to tie shoelaces, but over time it became a reflection of my own growth both in terms of a career and as a person.  Looking back over all the images, I'm surprised myself sometimes by how many changes I've gone through.  

I MUST thank Phil Florio, our own virile and jovial version of Professor Dumbledore, if you will.  He started it all (thanks to his beautiful, warm hearted nieces) and to him I am forever grateful not only for that, but for the true friendship we have shared, through some great times, and some less than times.  

Lisa Jones, Jessica DePaiva, and Eric Wilson -- You all have humbled me with your contributions to the site over time, your creativity, and your enthusiasm.  I cannot thank you enough, or properly express my appreciation and gratitude for your loyalty, which is unfortunately becoming a rare and unfashionable quality.

To anyone reading, I look forward to future changes, growths, and developments, and if you'd like, to have you all along for the ride as well.  

And if I ever post something that demonstrates I'm a bit off my rocker, well.....maybe I am.  But, I want any visitor to feel free to shout it from the rafters that I had better watch out regarding how nuts I actually allow myself to get!  :)

Now....go take on the day.....   hehe

Thora